Lightly Edited File Preventing Compassion Fatigue: Honoring Thyself July 8, 2016 National Resource Center on Domestic Violence Remote CART - iLinc 2:00-3:30 p.m. * * * * * THIS FILE CONTAINS PHONETIC ATTEMPTS AT SOUNDS AND WORDS THAT WERE SPOKEN * * * * * THIS FILE IS BEING PROVIDED IN A ROUGH-DRAFT FORMAT. COMMUNICATION ACCESS REALTIME TRANSLATION (CART) IS PROVIDED IN ORDER TO FACILITATE COMMUNICATION ACCESSIBILITY AND MAY NOT BE A TOTALLY VERBATIM RECORD OF THE PROCEEDINGS. * * * * * CART PROVIDED BY MERILEE S. JOHNSON, RMR, CRR, CBC, CCP PARADIGM REPORTING & CAPTIONING INC. 612.339.0545 CAPTION@PARADIGMREPORTING.COM >> Welcome, everybody. We're ready to start. I am the training education specialist for the national resource center on domestic violence. First I want to take a moment to tell you a few things about our webinar system. You should be able to see the full PowerPoint screen and not have to scroll to see all the information. The slide that we have right now has the title of our webinar today. It's preventing compassion fatigue honoring thyself. If you cannot see the full PowerPoint image, click the box on the bottom right corner of the PowerPoint screen to change the size of the presentation window. And also please feel free to send a message in the public chat, on the bottom left hand side of your webinar screen. The public chat is open, and visible to everyone participating in this webinar session. Please, please be careful not to share any confidential or sensitive information here in the public chat, because it will be visible to everyone that is participating in our webinar today. You do have the option to send a private message to the facilitator, or to each other. Just click on the tab marked "private" select the person's name that you like to message, then type and send. Also, throughout the webinar, please submit any questions or comments you may have in the public chat, and we'll be sure to get them at the end of the presentation. And also thank you for being a part of today's session. We will now begin recording our session. Good afternoon. My name is Ivan and I am the training specialist at the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence. Thank you for in-young us today and welcome to our webinar session calling prevention compassion fatigue and honoring thyself. First I would like to acknowledge the sadness that we're all feeling today about this week's events. And the impact of this horrific event is felt in our communities, and weigh heavily on all of our hearts and minds. This tragedies are reminders of the interconnectedness of violence and oppression. All fueled by hate and domination. And serves as yet another urgent call for us to -- and work across sectors as we look for solutions to end violence for all. So before we can do that, we need to take care of each other. We need to take care of ourselves. We must recognize the importance of taking care of ourselves. Today's webinar is our first step in doing that. So help me, everyone, welcoming our amazing presenter today, her name as you know is Santa Molina-Marshal. She is a licensed clinical holistic psycho therapist working in the field for 30 years. She was awarded the national sexual violence resource center, visionary voice award for her outstanding work in the field of antisexual violence within her community. For the last ten years she held a position of director of counseling and advocacy at the crisis center, where she directed the center's counseling program, providing individual and group counseling, and supervised clinical staff and graduate social work students. Between March 2013 and January 2014, Santa also served as interim director and over all the programs and departments. She directed all policies, grants, management and board-related functions. Since February 2014, she has been managing her full-time private practice in Washington, D.C. providing focus therapy services in English and Spanish, and an international speaker on women, trauma, mindfulness, loss, compassion fatigue and by all the trauma, and other topics. Santa welcome and thank you for joining us today. >> Santa: The pleasure is mine. Come to you not with a heavy heart, but with much gratitude for the work that we do. As advocates in the field of violence, I think that Ivan presented it as best as anyone could have in order for us to do the work that we do and continue to do that, it is imperative that we take care of ourselves. And so I think that it is a gift that this webinar was scheduled for today. Without anticipating the incredible events of this last week. But being reminded that this is what we are facing. Somewhere in our world, everyday. It's a level of oppression and slow domination, and pure instance sensitivity and disrespect for human kind. And so I commend you for taking time on a Friday afternoon to be here. And I hope you leave feeling healed and inspired. So thank you, again to the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence for scheduling this time. So let us begin, preventing compassion fatigue and honoring thyself. Compassion fatigue is the number one epidemic in the caregiving field. And the one epidemic specifically and we'll hear more about this, but specifically because there is so much that we do beyond the care giving in the particular field. And I believe that you can all identify, what the many ways in which you are, the caretaker, the many people you take care of, outside of your work. Outside of your work, how many of you are taking care of children? Parents? Familiar members? Pets? How many of you are taking care of your lover? Your girlfriend? Your boyfriend? How many of you, because of the field that you're in, people just know, go to Santa? Santa will have an answer or resource, or know somebody. It is the number one epidemic in the caregiver field, because caregivers are not just doing a job. It is who we are. We care. We give, and we give, and we give. So there is this care-giving personality. That also is compounding the risk of us ending up with compassion fatigue. And that is that trauma teaches us how to be impacted. And in order for you to be impacted, you have to open yourself up. Open yourself up to experiencing what the other person is experiencing. I don't know, and I may be ageing myself, I don't know if -- do the young people still say things like "are you feeling me?" And what they mean by that is literal? Are you feeling me? Do you feel what I feel? Are you getting -- are you getting what I get in my experience? So the care-giving personality requires us to feel the people that we come in contact, the clients that we're working with or advocating, the type of counseling that we are speaking to. It requires us to feel. And so the same set of personality tools, skills, energy, that is required to be able to do the work we do, but doing the same thing that really puts us at risk. And that is because when we open ourselves up to feel one another, you're opening yourself up to experiencing what that other person has experienced. You have become a secondary to the traumatic events. And so that same experience of being overwhelmed, that same as the freezing cold fear that our clients experience, we experience. And so compounded, with that is the crisis of care giving. It is a direct exposure to our level of taking care of others that unfortunately, puts us in this situation. And so it is essential, that we cake care of ourselves. And the results of that. I like saying that if we were mine workers, we would probably go in with some armor to rescue someone in a mine. We would probably have rescue teams right outside. Not only for those that were rescued, but for those who were doing the rescuing, if it were necessary. And so that is the attitude that we need to have. We need to remember at all times, that we are exposing ourselves. And as much as we open our heart and go in there and take care of those, we must remember to take care of ourselves. Before, during, and after the events that we have gone in to address. The good news is compassion fatigue. Or secondary traumatic stress, it's natural, it's predictable, but it's also treatable and preventable. It is not just a consequence of working with people that are suffering. There's nothing we can do. It just requires us to be mindful. To take an additional step. So I like to ask you, those of you who are listening, to take a moment and really think about, how many roles of caretaking, care giving do you have? We have one, two, three? How many hours of your day, do you spend, taking care of others? And this is an invitation to literally be seen. To see yourself. Just think about it. Also I want to invite you to take a moment to think about the fabric of your own experience, because the other thing had a we are faced with, is that as -- as advocates and care takers, caregivers in the field, most often we come with our own experiences. And let's just take what we have all experienced to some degree, just in this past week. Just in this past week. We come to our work with our own experiences. Our own thread, our own fabric, our own history. So, again, I want to ask you to take a moment and let yourself be seen. If nothing else, but by yourself. See yourself in this moment. Take a moment to think about it. Your own history. And I have no clear sense of how many people of color are on this webinar call. But if you're a person of color, you come with some stress with prejudice, abuse, neglect. And that's not to say only people of color have that experience, but we all have that experience. So what is your own history of trauma? You need to be aware of, what impacts you when you're out there doing your work? What impacts you? What affects you? What are things that you just cannot tolerate? What are some of the experiences that you deal with? I know in my work there are plenty of times when my eyes get moist. Or when I need to refrain from the funding from the place of my personal experience and remember I'm there to serve to someone else and they may not have the same reaction that I may be having. And so what impacts you? And I invite you to use our communications chat and share some of that, if you feel comfortable. Feel free to begin to allow yourself to be seen in this field, social work, advocate see -- one of the other things that puts us at risk. There is a narrative, that should not, as professionals be impact. >> Santa, I think we have some responses. I'm going to ask Kay see to read us those responses if you can, Casey. >> Casey: Sure. I'm happy to do that. I can see -- can you hear me okay? >> Yes. >> Casey: And Santa thank you so much for asking these important questions. First when you asked participants how many hours of your day do you spend taking care of others and just to consider that, you know, a common response was 8 to 10 hours. Is what some of the participants are offering. In response to your question about, you know, what really cuts you to your core, one participant, Becca says, as an educator, devils advocates cut me to my core. Sam says denial of other's trauma. Cassandra says, I work with children and it really triggers me when they do not act like I expect them to. I have to really stop and take a breath to be able to effectively work with the children that are impacted by trauma. Cynthia says stories about animals getting killed always gets to her. Ashley says, clients that have an excuse for every option that you give to them. Others are welcome to share. >> Santa: That's what's important. It's important for us to be aware of what triggers us, what are things that we are intolerable to? We come with our own array of prejudice, in our own intolerance. And our own experiences that make it challenging for us to feel each other. Yeah? >> Santa we have some other responses. Karen says the sadness that the cops in Dallas were targeted. Of course, I think we're all sitting with that sadness today. Melissa has an interesting one. Working with clients that abuse their children can be particularly difficult. Josie says working with people with mental health who are not taking their medication. Joe says anything with kids. Just really gets to him. >> Santa: And so it sounds like part of what I'm hearing is, is that it's really challenging, sometimes, to work with those who either may need the help, but are not ready for it. Those who may need the help, but are now empowered enough to receive it, right? And so those aspects of our work are important for us to be aware of. And to be able to talk about them as I started to say earlier, be able to talk about them so that we're not holding these experiences, these ideas, and thinking that they're isolated to only us. That we can start getting support from each other. So that we can start getting ideas from each other, so that we can start taking breaks, and saying, you know, I cannot work with one more child who was assaulted today. Can someone else take that call? That case? So it is important for us to be able to honor that. And I don't know how many administrators, managers, directors are on the call, but as administrators, managers and directors, it is our responsibility to assess and create spaces for our staff to begin to feel that it is okay for them to say, that was a really hard session or intervention, to come back to the office, or come back to the office to say, I need a moment, do you have a moment? And to make space for that. And make time for it. And of course it's challenging given our grants and given the amount of work that we all need to do. It is extremely challenging. But deepening your awareness, allowing yourself to see yourself, and allowing others to see you, is impacted. >> Santa, I wonder if I can corrupt you. This is Casey, people are saying that they are not hearing you very well. I wonder if you can if you are on speaker, if you can switch, or talk more directly into your speaker. >> Santa: Yeah, I am going to talk more directly into my speaker and you let me know, and if that doesn't work, then I will go ahead and just take the phone off the speaker all together. >> Casey: That sounds great. People are saying that's much better. Thank you so much. >> Santa: Wonderful, good. Glad that worked out. So let us move on then to another very critical piece here. Lots of people talk about the fact that there is thinking that takes place and memories in which we remember the experiences that we had throughout our day. But one of the things that we often forget, is that our bodies also experience everything that we experience throughout the day. So our body is our second brain. Our bodies we hold every experience we've ever had. Good, bad, or in different. It is the unconscious outside mind. Where all of the emotions are stored, and particularly the emotions that are overwhelming. They are waiting to be -- an emotion that's overwhelming is an escalation in your body and nervous system. And your emotions are held there until they have the opportunity to be excellent. And so it's also really important, not just to note what's happening in yourself or your experiences, but also to note, what's happening in your body? How are you feeling in terms of your body? Not just the thoughts, not just the emotional aspects, but what about the aches, pains, the back pains, migraine headaches, the tummy ages? Those are all experiences that the body's holding, saying: I am overwhelmed. Something is overwhelming. We also know, and I just want you to hold these thoughts. And I promise you that I'm going to stop talking about the threat and the fear, but it is important for you to know why some compassion fatigue is such an epidemic and so serious. So stress -- and there are different types of stress. There's the stress that is ordinary. The stress that I think I lost my car keys or oh my God, I don't know where my favorite purse is, or, you know, whatever. Small, I forgot my lunch. Those are small stressors. And they can be other things that are significant. And then we have challenge. And challenges may be more like, I don't know if I'm going to be able to pay mortgage this month, or fix my car or my child is ill, or there's threat of things of that nature. Stressors can also be even greater than that. The stressors are like the experiences. That so many people had last week. The stressors that people have been having throughout centuries. The stressors that our clients have when they are assaulted, when they feel totally disempowered, right? And those are called "trauma ruptures." And so we have ordinary stressors, challenges, and trauma ruptures. The situation that's critical about understanding the impact of stress, is that stress most often becomes most critical depending on how one perceives it. So I made some comments, what are stressors, and challenges and traumatic ruptures, but those experiences are very individual. So what may be just a typical stress for me, may be a challenge for you. What may have been a challenge for you, may be a trauma rupture for somebody else. Because our body holds every experience that we've had, how we respond to stress is directly proportionate to the experiences we have had. So someone, who is constantly challenged, and under stress, comes already with a nervous system's activated. With a nervous system that's already been processing stressful information. Yeah? So -- >> Casey: I'm sorry to interrupt you again. It seems participants are still having trouble hearing you. I wonder if you wouldn't mind taking -- it off of speaker and trying that. >> Santa: Okay, we'll try this. How is that? Let's see what the feedback is on that? >> Casey: Can you talk a little bit more and people can see? >> Santa: Yes, absolutely. So, again, the concern is that we are constantly picking up experiences of stress. And so our clients and us, because we're no different when it comes to this, have experienced terrorism, street violence, natural disasters, accidents of all sorts. Some physical, sexual abuse, domestic violence. Hysterical experience of just being overwhelmed. And then there's also the historical trauma. And so, again, my perception, and my experience in how I process stress is very individual. To who I am, where I've been. What I get exposed to. The other thing that's critical in terms of processing stress, is how quickly do I get help? So, again, that question of, do you have someone that you can run to and say, my God, I was just so overwhelmed on that call, on that session, in that intervention, because how quickly you're able to process whatever your degree of stress is, is going to determine your perception of that being a threat. And it's a threat in your body, in your nervous system. You may not be thinking, oh, that call was so challenging, that threatened me. It's not necessarily how we process it. But the body that was holding the muscles tight, the breath in, the body that was twitching, the body that had an accelerating heart, is still processing that. So, again, stress equals your own personal perception of how threatening is that experience that you just had. So I want to open the floor, again, and just hear some comments of -- does anybody know what I'm talking about, in relation to how your body responds to stress? How your body responds to challenge, or even traumatic ruptures when you are experiencing it first hand, or you are simply not that simple at all, witnessing, facilitating, lending your voice to your clients, and to survivors. So the floor's open for some comments. If there are folks who want to share, again, letting yourself be seen. >> Casey: So yes, it looks like people are sharing. Paula notices elevated blood pressure. I know for me, personally, it's upset stomach. Mandy says she gets tight muscles and knots in her stomach. Thaw loses her appetite. Tori says it sometimes comes in physical illness. I know it can sometimes breakdown your immune system. Cassandra says, when she's faced with a stressful experience, she can physically feel her heart race and her leg twitching. Brenda says she finds it hard to go to work to see clients after -- this morning after reading all the news from the past few days. It feels like she's reached her threshold of terrible news. Brandy's weekend immune system. Nauseous and sweaty. Christina says physical symptoms are tight, achy shoulders, migraines, knots in the stomach, insomnia. Melissa describes shoulder and neck pain. Becca describes that, too. Also feeling high strung and unable to relax. Megan talks about butterflies. And feeling like there's a spot light on her. Karla talks about jaw clenching. Seems to be a common one, too. And pain. Also headaches. One says she feels like crying. I'm seeing a theme of muscle soreness, tightening muscles. Sam says my mind gets really separated from my body because I need to keep my thoughts separate from the sinking feeling in his or her body. Ashley said, just tired. Exhaustion. All the time. Those are some of the themes we're seeing over here in the chat. >> Santa: Wonderful. Thank you all for sharing that and for allowing yourself again, to be seen. And I commend you for your awareness. So the key to preventing compassion fatigue, and I'm going to talk just a little bit more about what is compassion fatigue, but the key to preventing it, is particularly awareness. The mindfulness. Your awareness, your ability to note what is happening for you? So people are asking -- >> Casey: Karen is asking if you can define trauma rupture again. >> Santa: Trauma ruptures are the experiences that render you incapable of managing the situation. It is an experience where you have reached your threshold, and the stress or challenge has gone beyond your capacity to tolerate. And, again, part of what I explained is that, that is really undefiable, meaning that we cannot really explain or predict or even define, because it's so personal, depending on what your experiences have been. The trauma rupture, your ability to protect yourself, your ability to assert yourself, your ability to empower yourself, is gone. There is no barrier. The barrier has been blown away. Thus you are experiencing a trauma rupture. I hope that helps, and thank you for the question. So going back to what people think often, when they think of compassion fatigue, they think of burnout. And burnout is something very different than compassion fatigue. Burnout is a process in which you believe that you will never be able to do whatever required of you. It's a physical thing. If they're being more demand than there is ability, or supply. It's you being overworked. You being required to do something you don't have the skills for. It's -- you, over time, accumulating a sense that no matter what, you cannot do enough, give enough. You are not -- eventually, able to have the capacity. And that's burnout. And we do see that, also, in our field. We see a lot of burnout. Folks who are just never able to feel rewarded for their work, or like there is fatigued because there's so much to do. So that's burnout. You add to that, what I talked about earlier, which is secondary trauma stress. Or what we know in a diagnostic clinical way, post-traumatic stress. You add to burnout, the experience of A, being witness to events that rupture your trauma vortex, that breaks through. You experience that. And you have the repetitive aspect. Right? So what I'm saying is that, to that feeling, that you don't have enough time to do your work, that they are just -- you don't have enough skills, that you just don't have the capacity that somehow is -- is never enough, you add to that, the witnessing of traumatic events that rupture your barrier to tolerate, and you keep having that over and over again. And folks, what that is, is the definition. The clinical definition of what PTSD is. Post-traumatic stress disorder is, two of the major criterias, is there's an event that renders you feeling incapable, whether you're witnessing it or experiencing it. It's a threat of death. It's a threat of not being able to go on. And that's what happens in these trauma rupture. The other major criteria is PTSD, is the intrusive thoughts. How many times, you know, are we, in our car, on our way home, and without necessarily wanting to, we're thinking about the client we saw or a situation that came up. Right? How many times are you at the dinner table, with your family? And all of a sudden, a thought pops up. Now, I'm not talking about when you deliberately decide to bring work home. That's something different. I'm talking about the intrusion. The times you wake up in the middle of the night, thinking about a situation. A story, an event, wondering about how a client made it. That's what I'm referring to here. >> Casey: Santa I wonder if I can pull this question that's coming up here. And I'm not sure there is a difference. Is there a difference between vicarious trauma and secondary trauma? Or do those terms refer to the same concept? >> Santa: Those terms are referring to the same concept. It is referring to you being the witness of traumatic events. So right now, we probably -- and this is a huge generalization, but we probably are all walking around, with tremendous amount of vicarious and secondary trauma, because we witness, consistently, traumatic events. And things that happen in the world, again, the body is receiving them. >> Casey: And do you know -- [ Simultaneous talking ] >> Santa: Yes. >> Casey: I'm sorry. That was very helpful -- very helpful response. Another question that came up, and I'm -- I'm not sure if you're planning to address it, but participants are wondering how to rise above or respond to these trauma ruptures. Will you be giving, you know, some concrete strategies for us during this webinar? >> Santa: We are about to shift gears. >> Casey: Okay. >> Santa: We're about to shift gears. Absolutely. Absolutely. I just want to make sure we're clear about the seriousness, and the importance of us taking care of ourselves. So that's why I spend so much time at first, talking about how critical it is, and how dangerous, and how vulnerable we are as advocates, and as counselors and so on and so forth. So remember that compassion fatigue is the secondary traumatization, for the vicarious trauma, plus the burnout. Both of which, we experience in our field. Often time simultaneously. So I'm going to go through these slides rather quickly. I'm going to ask you as we go through them, to identify yourself. There are really no stages of compassion fatigue. But there are different phases. And the reason I distinguish stages from phases. We go in and out. I may be in the stage of feeling like a zombie, and then all of a sudden I'm feeling excited and back in the zealously place, but we go in and out. It's important for to you identify, where you are and when you're there. As these slides are going on, I just want you to see how you identify yourself. So here we go. This is usually the first phase. Something to be aware of. Your idealistic. You overcommittee yourself, you're ready to solve every problem. You have time for everything. You're very excited. You go the extra mile. And sometimes that is celebrated, because that means you're really, really good and dedicated advocates. Pay attention to that. And notice if you can identify with that. The irritability phase. Usually that phase when you begin to feel -- you're tired. And you're irritable. And you're discontent. And you begin to cut corners in your work. You want to avoid contact with clients. You are happy when clients cancel, but they don't show up, and they come late, because it's like a break. You begin to really even make light of your clients or the colleagues. You use humor to, not necessarily to release tension, but to avoid. You day dream, you make mistakes. And a very telling piece, you begin to isolate yourself, from family, from friends. You're tired. You want to come home and just never talk to anyone for the rest of the night. Be aware. A withdrawal phase. When you begin to feel that the work is never ending, and not ever going to make a difference. You're losing the enthusiasm to do your work. You glue people together, you know, it's all those women who just keep getting beaten up and you tell them what to do and they just keep going back or you got to listen -- they don't hear, they don't -- so we start grouping people together, or maybe it's a racial group. We complain about our work, and we just feel, again, like it's best to stay to ourselves. We feel tired and we begin to, once again, create those walls. And be careful about the ways in which we create walls. Because we know that there's all kinds of ways of avoiding. And oftentimes we're -- when we're in this withdrawal phase, we're creating walls, in very dysfunctional ways. And then usually, the last phase, and again, remember I said these are phases but not necessarily stages, so you can go in and out of these, the last one is sense of hopelessness. Anger. Sometimes even rage. You begin to feel that others are incompetent. Or you, yourself, have become incompetent. You have no patience. That's it. You have nothing else to give. That slide that was shown much earlier, where I said that you open yourself up in order to be a care taker, you have to open this up to feel each other. Well, you have nothing else to feel with. You're done. And here's some of the symptoms of compassion fatigue. Some of the things you all talked about when you chatted and shared. There's a physical, you're feeling tired, nervous, psychological, pessimism, feeling like you don't know anything. Being cynical. Angry, depressed or emotional. Spiritual. If you're a very spiritual person you start to feel very distressful. Isolated. That there's no hope. No time. And then the professional, which is the lack of productivity, and losing interest in your work. You have an opportunity, and we're not necessarily going to do this right now. If you have an opportunity here to -- you have a handout that's been provided to measure your symptoms of compassion fatigue. Track. Where are you along these spaces. What symptoms are you having? We're not going to go over this together, because a lot of you gave great feedback in terms of what you were feeling in your body. But I do want to ask, again: What phases come to your mind? Where have you been? Where are you now? Where do you see your colleagues? If you would share those, you have any input on any of those. So I can take the violence to mean we're assessing. Deeping our awareness. Or Santa you tired us out, girl. >> Yes, I see we have some answers. Casey, would you like to read them? >> Casey: Sure. Looks like Marjorie is in zombie phase. Others said irritability phase. Sam says definitely irritability. Tori says she can see a lot of the irritability phase in her colleagues and herself. Christy wonders, is it possible to be in all stages at once? [ Laughter ] >> Santa: Absolutely. So let's hold off with the feedback for now. But, yes, it is possible in one day to navigate through all of those stages and to go back and forth, and, again, what's important is to be aware of them. To be really aware of them. So here's a good news, folks. Compassion fatigue, we can -- we can -- we can do something about that. We can be intentional. Or we can be reactive. And, of course, you already know what the -- what the reactivity looks like. Right? But the intentional part, is to have mission and purpose, is to be aware of your own internal locust of control, of what's happening to you, to develop some self-regulatory skills and tools which we're going to talk about in a moment. To minimize your stress. Take care of your health. So to pay attention. So how many of you have spent hours and hours and hours, in this last week, following on social media, the details of everything that's going on? Just in this country? Never mind in others. How many of you come home and listen to the news? How many of you, you know, just are in constant communication with your friends and your family and colleagues about stressful things? How many of you watched, really violent movies or programs? So minimizing the input. There's stress, challenge and -- There's traumatic form of rupture. >> Casey: Santa before you move on, and I know we're all really curious to talk about the next -- what we can do about it, stuff, but Josie's wondering if you can define one of the terms on the last slide. It was "parasympathetic dominance." >> Santa: Yes, thank you. The parasympathetic -- and there's sympathetic. Let me say something about sympathetic dominance first. Sympathetic dominance are the -- the things that were shared when I asked, how is the body feeling? The sympathetic dominance is the response of the nervous system to a traumatic event. It's the stress response. It's the tension in your body. It's the way in which your pupils get dilated and eyes get big. There's a way in which the nervous system tells the body, there is a threat, and lets prepare to fight, sleep, or freeze because there's nothing we can do. Those are normal logical responses to threat. The parasympathetic dominance -- That's called dysregulation. If you look what I just described, it's the dysregulation in the body, in the nervous system. The parasympathetic dominance is that aspect of us that can relax. You can you take a deep breath? Can you intentionally loosen your muscles? Can you relax your pulse? Your heart rate? Can you notice when that is happening? And, again, in the second half of my talk we're getting ready, right now to move into -- so how do you do that? But that's what the parasympathetic is. Being in that state where you're not feeling threatened or responding to threat. And, of course, you know, if the threat is real, and you want to respond to that dysregulate activated of flight, fight, free, the problem is there's not always a threat, but we perceive it, because we're being triggered or so overexposed. I hope that helps. >> Casey: Thank you. >> Santa: So let's begin to talk about self-care. Things that we can do to really honor ourselves and the work that we do, so that we can continue to be compassionate. And continue to feel each other, experience each other, for very, very long time, because folks, we have a lot of work to do. We have a lot of work to do. So we must stay clear, motivated, healthy, so that we can do this work. So I have here just a couple of possibilities of things that one can do. And I just want to check -- sorry, I'm having -- here we go. Here we go. So I just want to check with you all, honoring your ancestors. When you do this work, do you assume that you're doing this work by yourself? Or do you assume that you're doing this work as a continuum of the work that started? That someone else has started. Do you remember that you're not alone? Do you remember that there are millions of us out here, advocating, fighting, supporting, encouraging? So honoring your ancestors means both those who are with you today, your role models, your guides. Your mentors. And by honoring, I mean just remembering them, and remembering that you don't do this work on your own. But then they also mean, for those who are open and believe, can honoring the ancestors, or those who are no longer with us on this planet, but that started this work. You may have heard big thunder here in Maryland. So honoring your ancestors is critical. >> Let's take a little -- just a second. We have a lot of participants saying that they lost sound. Is -- Yes. Let's see. I'm pretty sure they're connected by the Internet, and that's why they lose -- they lost their sound. Casey, if you could put down the number to call. >> Casey: Yes, I'll do that, I'm so sorry. >> Santa: I'm just going to slide these slides forward to check something on our end. >> Yes, go ahead. >> Yeah, they are saying they lost sound but able to read the captioning. Let's see, we can -- let's see if we can connect them. [ No speaking ] [ Troubleshooting the audio ] >> Okay, Santa let's go ahead while they call in. We have a number of participants that are dialed in. >> Santa: Wonderful. Wonderful. So noticing your space is the other thing that's essential. And by "space" I mean literally. Taking your space. Taking care of the space that you work in. Making it so that it is a space that is welcoming to you. Remembering that you have to be there. So taking time to organize your desk, your space, bringing things in that feed you. That make you -- and I don't mean food or those -- that can be comforting. But bringing things into your space that remind you of who you are, or why you do this work. Of what brings you joy. I remember when I was at the D.C. crisis center. I'm an animal lover and dog lover, and I had a little stuffed dog. A Labrador, black dog. I had a stuffed dog hanging off my computer. So bringing things into your space, that help you remember and feed your nervous system, help it to get calm. Using some of the self-care things that you know to do. Like when was the last time you took care of yourself? Took a hot bath or got a massage? Or even massaged your hands while you were at your desk? Or stopped and took some deep breaths? We're going to talk about breathing a little bit more. And taking breaks, mental breaks. Not necessarily day dreaming, but consciously saying, let me close my eyes, and imagine myself, because we know that the reason why guided meditation and imagery and things of that nature works, is not so much because you think it, but it's because you allow yourself to experience it. So in your body, you experience it. So you take a moment. So really making a commitment, like, you know how to take care of yourself. You do that. You take a moment, and actually take care of -- let the self-care begin. So I'm wondering, and hopefully everybody's back on, in terms of whatever technical problem we were having. But I'm wondering, how do you honor your ancestors? What are some of the lessons of courage that you have learned? Do you recall those throughout the day? Do you have notes that remind you of those? Do you have books that remind you? Is there a daily reading that you may need to do or that you may want to do? Is there a poet that speaks to you, or piece of poetry that speaks to you? >> Casey: Thanks, Santa, there's -- Looks -- Becca said authorizes that engage in social justice works and keeps things close around her. Others thank the people who taught her. People are also sharing some other self-care strategies. Like recording positive interactions so that she can look back on them on rough days. And others are talking about yoga. >> Santa: Wonderful. Wonderful, so -- >> Casey: I'm so sorry. Sam says he identifies his role models and what they taught him or other. Karen says she organizes her desk by feng shui energy balance. Ashley spends time with her dog and working out. Sarah says she tries to live her life to respect the family name and honor her family name. >> Santa: So that is what I'm talking about. And being aware of that. Making a ritual of it, so that there is -- there's a routine that you incorporate. I, for example, walk into my office, and I take a moment to just give thanks. Give thanks to the ancestors. I give thanks to, I call great spirit. I give thanks to the energies that I get to work today. That I get to serve people. Which the other kind of thing that I do, I feel that my work is a service. Allow me to serve today, and to be a service to all of those that I come in contact with. Not just those who come in with appointments, but those that I run into in the hallway that have nothing to do with me. Allow me to be of service. Right? And so thank you for those -- those wonderful pieces of how you honor your ancestors and remember those lessons. We're not alone. So, again, the rituals. The practices, the routines. Does your space support your own wellness? And so what is one thing, just one thing, that you can do, that you're willing to commit to, to create a more healing work space? Because remember, we spend a lot of time in our offices, our some of us in our cars, driving from places to places. So whatever the primary place, where you hangout, on a day-to-day basis to do your work, what is one thing that you can commit to? Right now. To doing. So that it is a more healing work space for you first. Think about that. Are you willing to take the time to do that? I hope you are. And we need you in this field. Yeah? So let's talk a little bit about developing a self-care plan. And some of you were already talking about some things that you do. So in developing a self-care plan, it's important to remember that there are basic needs that need to be met. There's the intellect that needs to be fed. And then there's your spirit that needs to be nurtured. Taking care of. So what is some of your basic needs? Do you sleep enough? Do you eat well? Are you paying attention to how you eat? To what you eat? Do you take a lunch break? Do you eat while you're working? Or do you take time? Even if it's only 15 minutes to finish your meal before you engage back into the work. Are you getting enough exercise? Do you practice yoga? The body needs to move in order to release and let go of the stresses in your body. The holding. So do you dance? Do you swim? Do you walk? Do you stress if you don't feel like doing yoga? Do different stretches. What do you do? Those are all part of your basic needs. Are you drinking enough water? And I don't mean coffee or tea or sodas. Or even juice. But water? Are you drinking enough water? So are you meeting your basic needs? Are you taking care of your personal finances? Your home? Are you spending time with your family? Your children? Your spouses? Your pets? Are you taking care of your basic needs? Because if you're not, you're a care taker, you're coming to work already fatigued. I love that some people were sharing that part of their honoring of ancestors, is having books, authors that speak to the work that we're doing. Because the other piece is, are you nurturing your intellect? Do you take time to read? To see podcasts? To come on webinars like these, or whatever type they may be. Are you taking time to have discussions with staff? Our administrators actually doing training, providing people with new information, cutting edge information. You need to feel -- remember the discussion about burnout? Where one begins to feel like you don't have the capacity? So we need to feel like we're being given information, tools, strategies, and when we get to exchange what we know, what we're learning. What we're picking up, what works. So supervision meetings, need to become more a space where people get to share what's working. I think that also came up already, moments ago. What's the good news? What's working? And then how do you nurture your spirit? And if you don't believe in spirit, then just your biological energy self. How do you nurture that? What gives you that? Developing a plan. It's a plan. It's not just a thought, it's a plan. How are you going to make sure that every day, you're sprinkling in a little bit of each of these self-care needs? The other thing that's really important then is to find an accountability partner. Identify someone in your office that will hold you accountable in a gentle way, will come and say, hey, Santa, how are you doing on your self-care plan today? Have you remembered to stop to eat? To drink water? Whatever it may be. And that you can do that for them as well. We're all very busy, but we can take time and should take time. To take care of each other in that way. To develop your self-care plan. Commit to doing that. Don't put it off. Breath is something that's available to us. That can be extremely empowering and helpful. These three different types of breath that I like to share with you, and invite you to practice with me, at this moment, are all yoga breaths. They come from the field of yoga. So first one is a three-part breath. I want to talk you through it, and ask you and invite you to take a moment right now. So if you've been multitasking while you've been listening, just stop for a moment. And close your eyes and bring the attention to your breath. Whatever your breath is like, in this moment. Just begin by inhaling and exhaling through your nose, as you inhale deeply, and slowly. All the way up to the very top of your throat. Hold it for just a moment. And exhale even slower. And again, inhale slowly. All the way up to your throat, hold it. And exhale even slower. Imagining that you can make your exhalation much, much longer. At least three times as long as your inhalation. You're inhaling, exhaling through your nose. Wonderful opportunity to do some affirmation. Perhaps you inhale. There is hope. Simply exhale. And maybe you inhale. I do enough. And you exhale. "I am enough." And you exhale. You may have all kinds of thoughts of preoccupation in your mind. But your focus is on your breath. The three-part breath is a calming, parasympathetic breath. It calm the nervous system. Bringing enough oxygen into the brain cells. You're allowing yourself just to relax. You go to the restroom and do this. Just three or four seconds, even. Do it for a round. The three-part breath. The second breath I'd like to share with you, is an alternate nostril breathing. We all know our brain's divided into two parts; left and right brain. Both which regulate different things. We don't always get equal oxygen into both sides of our brain. The alternate nostril breathing allows us to do that. So the breath pattern is the same breath pattern I shared with you a moment ago, the three-part breath, where you inhale, slowly, completely, hold breath at the top, and then exhale even slower, except for this time, you're alternating the nostril that you're breathing through. So join me, if you hold your right nostril, just placing your thumb on your right nostril and inhale through the left, full slow breath. Hold it. And exhale. And then switch the hold. And now inhale through the right. Full breath, all the way up to the top. Hold it. And exhale. And switch your finger to the opposite nostril. At first the switching of the nostrils can be a distraction. And after a few moments and practice, a distraction disappears. You continue the three-part breath, alternating the nostril. You're bringing oxygen to both sides of your brain. Both heating, or relaxing, the left brain, that intellectual brain, as well as your right brain. Compassionate creative brain. The alternate nostril breathing allows for balance. Creates balance. When you're feeling out of balance, particularly when you're feeling confused, distracted. Perhaps you even anxious. The alternate nostril breathing, it's an excellent breath. You're combining a relaxation breath with balance. The last breath, the Diaphragmatic breath is one when you don't have energy, feeling lethargic or there is anger. This may be tricker to learn, but very powerful and important. In this breath you inhale through your nose, all of these breaths are taking place only through your nostrils, and as you inhale, when you're filled with the breath, you push the breath out through your nostrils, while pulling your belly in. So it's almost as though you were emptying out your belly. So you inhale, and then push the breath out through your nose, and pull the belly in. By the way, it's also a great abdominal exercise. And you can do four or five rounds. Consistently inhaling, pushing the breath out as the belly comes in. By the way, the inhalation just happens naturally. So try it. Inhaling, and create a little explosion as you push the breath out to the nose, pull the belly in, and notice that the breath bounces back on its own and you can do the next expulsion. Or explosion. The diaphragmatic is is a purifying breath. So I'd like to take a moment again. And invite you all to share, a little bit. What was that like? What was your favorite breath? Were you able to let go of whatever you were doing and just take a moment? Let's hear some feedback. >> Casey: We're starting to see some responses. Teresa says the alternate nostril breathing felt good. Martha said definitely the alternate nostril breathing. People are favoring that breath. Maria, too. The last breath relaxed her completely. >> Santa: Wonderful. Wonderful. >> Casey: Paula said she felt her body relaxing. Megan says she feels so relaxed. I think you put us almost into a sleep-like mode, Santa. >> Santa: I hope we didn't lose anyone. But, yeah, it doesn't take very long. Just a little something you can do right at your desk. So thank you for the feedback. Try those. And do them while you're driving, you can do them, you know, while your waiting on something. You can do them in the super market. You guys may be frightened if I'm doing this at the super market. Because I'm doing all kinds of things. Stretching, breathing, shopping. And sometimes I'm just laughing. So here's the next thing I want to invite you to think about. It's how important it is to, again, releasing from your body. This takes no more than ten seconds. So I invite you to take a moment and since we open your mouth, and stretch like a big big yawn, and by now you're probably ready to yawn. We've been sitting for a little while. I had you breathing. And then just let out the breath. A big "ah." And, again. Big, open. Move the jaw. We hold a lot of tension in our jaw bones. Because that's one of the first things that tightens up when you're preparing for a fight. Pay attention to that. When you feel any sense of threat, notice what happens to your teeth, your begins to tighten up. So loosen up your jaw. Sticking out your tongue. Opening the mouth wide. I hope you're trying that. Another thing that's very quick and easy to do, right at your desk, is tensing and releasing the muscles of your body. So take a moment, and begin to simply squeeze your buttocks, tighten your toes. Your legs. Now hold that for a moment. Or two. Maybe even three, and then just drop 'em. You're collapsing. You're letting go. You're surrendering. Let's try the same thing with your arms. Begin with squeezing your hands into a fist. Tighten your shoulders. Bring those shoulders up to your ears. Squeeze the shoulders. And this time, pull your belly in as well. Squeezing the belly, the shoulders up, holding that breath. Squeezing a little tighter for a moment. Two, or three, and surrender. Let it go. Drop. The tension. And this time we're going to combine the lower upper body, and include the face. So even if you have to put the phone down to just take a moment and pick up again. So here's the instructions, in case you decide to put your phone down. Just squeeze your buttocks, your legs, your toes, and squeeze your fist, your arms, your shoulders. Pull that belly in, and squeeze the muscles of your face, and just hold for one minute, if you can. Squeezing tightly, holding all the muscles. Imagine that you're squeezing out all the tension of the day. Wonderful thing to do at the end of the day. And release and let it go. Follow that by your alternate or deep breathing. If you wish, not at this moment, since we already did those, and then stand up and stretch. Notice where your body aches. Stretch and breath into that area of where your body aches. Open your arms and fingers. Stretch out your legs. Roll your neck gently. Again, remember that your body is a receptacle, and it's held on to everything that's happened on that die. And it's your responsibility, to wring it out, through the tension and release. Stretch it out. So you're relaxing body, mind, and an energetic being that some of us call "spirit." You may even want to top that off, by giving yourself a little massage. You can give yourself a shoulder massage. One at a time. Or hand massage. What about massaging your feet. Things you can do right at your desk. And between clients. I have a personal ritual and that is that in-between each client, I walkout, whether I have to go to the restroom or not. I go to the restroom. I wash my hands. Put some water on my head. Kind of wet my hair. Look at myself. Give myself a little pep talk. Okay. You're doing good. Fill up my water bottle. Take a walk all around the office, so I've taken a walk and I come back. And I do my stretch. And I sit down and I'm ready for the next person. That takes no more than three minutes. Two minutes sometimes. Yeah. And then here at the top of this slide, there are other things that you can do that we've already talked about. So what about sharing some of the things that you all do? And maybe if you like, sharing which of these things that we did together, were useful or helpful to you? >> Casey: So we're seeing some responses coming in. Becca said the breathing exercises were great. Mackenzie said in their office they dance. >> Santa: Ah, wonderful. >> Casey: Massage works great. >> Santa: So the idea is to find what works for you. What is something that you can do, and to be aware and to be conscientious. And then I want to begin to wrap up by giving you two other things to be mindful about. And you have, on the slides, this information. But remember that you are responsible for the care of your instrument. And that is you. You cannot work without the proper tools. Surgeons cannot work without the proper tools. And those tools being in tuned. You cannot do your job without your instrument, that is you, being in tuned. So maybe you can make a commitment to take a little bit of time this weekend, if you can, or when you can, to do a little bit of, what I call self-supervise. Some of us have supervisors that are very compassionate and give us great feedback. Some of us don't. Some of us have critical supervisors, and some don't have any at all. So take a moment and self-supervise. Imagine that you're writing a writer from a benevolent supervisor. Giving things to yourself for the work that you do. Must even be something that you can do for each other. An activity to do in the office. Writing little notes for each other. As though you're writing from the benevolent supervisor. But remember, you're responsible for your own tools. When was the last time you took time to just look at the quality of your work? The quality of your efforts? The love and time that you give. So here's a little bit of a idea of how you can start. Focusing on your strengths, your aspects, your goodness. The other thing is to write a mission statement. Commitment to yourself. What are you going to do? Care of yourself perhaps. How are you going to nurture your best self? Yeah? Not something that you can do again on your own -- and that's something you can do, again, on your own time. Perhaps your commitment to yourself, or your mission statement would be writing down some of the things you value. And some of the things that are important to you. What your vision is. Why you came into this field to begin with. How are you going to deal with the many roles in your life? Making a commitment to keeping that balance. Remember you're writing not to impress anyone but yourself. Remembering that you are your greatest tool. So in conclusion, and in summary, don't take compassion fatigue lightly. The work that we do is essential. We need each other. And with he need to be in this field and do this work. If you're feeling like you're going down a slippery slope, you're tired. You're fatigued. You don't have any more love. Care. You can't feel anyone, anymore. Remember that there is hope, that you are the only one, who will take care of yourself. And if you're not feeling that hooray, you won a few, because some of us are probably feeling some form of fatigue. Remember that to prevent it, simply means to be preventative. To notice what's happening for you in your body, in your mind, and your spirit. And to take care of yourself. Prioritize. It's your tool. I'd like to leave you with this statement, and I will read it. Where there is full consciousness, awareness of mental health, emotional psychological, physical and spiritual experiences, where there is full consciousness. There's true compassion for all involved. Don't forget yourself. Because you, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserves your entire love and affection. So please take care of yourself. I commend you for your work. I thank you for your work. We're all affected. Just remember that you're not doing it on your own. Although, sometimes it may feel that way. Take care of yourself, and enjoy your weekend, and thank you for allowing me to spend sometime with you. I know we have a few moments for additional questions, or answers, but I'm going to turn it over to our facilitators, and I thank you again. And know that I'm here to support you if there's anything I can do. My contact information is on our first slide. Have a good night, and good afternoon. >> Thank you so much, Santa. Unfortunately we're running out of time. But I want to tell all our participants, thank you for joining us. Santa this presentation was amazing. I feel truly relaxed. I enjoyed it. Thank you so much. Some of our participants were asking about how to get the PowerPoint slides. You are going to be receiving a follow-up e-mail. And we also are going to have -- this session was recorded. So you're going to be able to access all of that via e-mail and also -- Thank you so much for joining us today. Please, please be sure to respond to our brief sure sway, while logging out. We would love to know how you applied the practices we learned today and also, look for registration information very soon about our next webinar. It's going to be taking place on August the 2nd. Prevent IPV project, and thrive, a framework for understanding the community determine unanimous of intimate partner violence. Thank you everybody, and have a wonderful weekend. D I S C L A I M E R THIS TEXT IS BEING PROVIDED IN A ROUGH DRAFT FORMAT. COMMUNICATION ACCESS REALTIME TRANSLATION (CART) IS PROVIDED IN ORDER TO FACILITATE COMMUNICATION ACCESSIBILITY AND MAY NOT BE A TOTALLY VERBATIM RECORD OF THE PROCEEDINGS.